Enhanced parental leave schemes try to close the paternity gap, but these benefits are still far from standard. We brought together working dads from across industries for a webinar where they talk honestly about the realities of balancing work and parenthood, and what it will actually take to change things.

In the UK, statutory paternity leave is just two weeks. It’s one of the least generous in the OECD, and much less than the 52 weeks of statutory maternity leave available to mothers. 

That imbalance is reflected in how little time new fathers take off. Research from Pregnant Then Screwed found that the majority of fathers (64%) took two weeks or less following the birth of their most recent child — and 48% of fathers who had access to enhanced paternity pay were still only able to take up to two weeks. 

Campaigns like The Dad Shift have pushed for change, but progress has been slow, and the reasons why are more tangled than a single policy can fix.

We assembled a panel of dads to discuss the paternity gap, how they juggle parenthood alongside work, and what is needed to bring more balance to parental leave. Our panel included:

• Host Richard Odufisan, an Inclusive People Experience Designer, who was able to stretch nine months of shared parental leave into a full year by combining different types of leave creatively. 
• Alex Geater, Talent Acquisition Partner at Tesco, who had six weeks of fully paid paternity leave.
• Greg Phillips, Senior Talent Acquisition Partner at Virgin Media O2, who was given 14 weeks of paternity leave.
• Simon Defoe, Talent, Learning and Performance Senior Manager at Vodafone, who split his employer’s 16-week paternity leave into two eight-week blocks. 

You can replay the paternity gap webinar here or use Flexa to find companies offering enhanced parental leave and jobs with enhanced parental leave.

Why progress has been so slow

Greg traced the lag in fixing the paternity gap back to history: maternity leave rightly became a major focus in the early 2000s, while paternity leave was treated as optional and has been playing catch-up ever since. He linked this to a wider societal assumption about what a father's role should be, one that hasn't caught up with how many dads actually want to parent actively today.

Simon agreed, breaking the problem into three parts: the leave provision itself; whether it's genuinely affordable at statutory pay; and the cultural expectation that fathers take their two weeks and then get straight back to "normal."

Alex added that most households now rely on dual incomes, and younger parents expect a far more equal split of care than previous generations, but fatherhood is still too often framed as a supportive role rather than a central one.

"It's not just about the policy. It's the pay, and it's the culture, all three need to move together." — Simon Defoe, Vodafone

Where policy meets culture

Simon described Vodafone's 16-week leave policy, split into two eight-week blocks with a period of four-day, five-day-pay flexibility on return, designed to support a partner's own transition back to work. What stood out to him wasn't just the policy itself but the fact that taking it is treated as completely standard, not something colleagues avoid.

Greg shared a striking example from Virgin Media O2, where a senior leader once declined to join an urgent executive call because of a childcare clash, and was immediately and visibly supported by the CEO. For Greg, the fact that this story was shared openly with the wider leadership team mattered as much as the decision itself, and reflected Virgin Media O2's approach of treating maternity and paternity leave as one and the same.

Helping dads feel safe to ask

Greg was candid that men can be prone to dealing with the pressures of new parenthood in isolation, and argued that simply checking in on colleagues, not just about football and rugby, but about how they're actually coping, is something workplaces underinvest in.

Simon pointed to something simpler still: normalising the everyday sharing of parenthood at work, whether that's a photo of a new baby or an internal post welcoming someone back from leave. 

Alex described Tesco's parents and carers network, and an internal editorial column sharing colleagues' stories, as tools that make support visible rather than something people have to go looking for.

"Parenting is part of who we are. It's a normal thing, and we're all trying." — Alex Geater, Tesco

Support doesn't end when leave does

Alex was clear that a good policy on paper isn't enough if people don't feel confident asking day-to-day questions once they're back, whether that's about a teething baby or how to structure a working day around nursery pickups. Greg pushed back gently on the idea that fatherhood conflicts with ambition, arguing that being seen as a good, present father is itself a positive leadership trait, and that many dads, himself included, actually become more efficient once time becomes more precious to them.

Richard shared a more personal reflection: after becoming a father, he deliberately deprioritised career progression in favour of flexibility, moving jobs more than once specifically to protect his ability to do nursery pickups. He said that it mattered to hear that ambition doesn't have to look the same for every parent.

Advice to a past self

Asked what they'd say if they could chat to their younger selves, before becoming a dad, the panel's advice landed on a few consistent themes. Alex encouraged new dads to simply be present, describing the early weeks as "genuinely magical" despite the cliché. 

Greg's advice was more practical: get in all the trips, sports and hobbies you can before the baby arrives, and try not to let first-time stress crowd out the enjoyment. And Simon recommended talking to others who've recently taken similar leave, and accepting that what works will look different for every family.

Richard's advice was to push your luck: ask about combining different types of leave in creative ways, even if you're not sure whether you qualify. He described stretching nine months of shared parental leave, taken in blocks around school holidays, into a full year of near-continuous parental leave for his family, purely by asking the question.

"You'd be amazed how much people are like, 'Oh, we'd never thought of this before. Go for it.'" — Richard Odufisan

What employers could still do better

Simon's honest assessment was that most UK organisations still don't offer anything close to the leave the panel described, and that embedding conversations about paternity into everyday culture, not just policy documents, is what will genuinely shift things. Greg acknowledged that smaller businesses face real economic constraints, but suggested employers ask themselves honestly what output they're actually getting from someone forced back to work after just two weeks. Alex's steer was about framing: flexibility shouldn't be treated as a special favour, but as basic fairness, reinforced by visible allies and leaders willing to share their own stories.

The conversations that matter at home

Turning to life at home, Greg recommended being deliberate early on: understanding exactly what leave and policies exist on both sides of a household, and using that as the basis for an ongoing conversation rather than a one-off decision. Alex emphasised sharing the mental load and protecting each other's individual time, not just splitting logistics. Simon's addition was to expect those conversations to keep changing, and to start practical planning, like nursery waiting lists, far earlier than feels natural. Richard closed with a reminder to check in on each other's mental health directly, noting that the emotional impact of returning to work after leave is real for fathers as well as mothers.

Key takeaways

• The paternity gap isn't caused by one single barrier. Policy, pay, and everyday workplace culture all need to move together for real change to stick.
• Visible leadership role modelling, and sharing your own parenting decisions openly, does more to normalise paternity leave than a written policy alone.
• Support shouldn't stop when leave ends. Feeling safe to ask everyday questions and talk openly about parenting responsibilities matters just as much once someone is back at work.
• Being an involved father and being ambitious at work aren't in conflict. Several panellists described becoming more focused and efficient, not less, after having children.
• Don't be afraid to ask what's possible. Some of the most valuable outcomes described in this conversation, like extended leave and flexible pay arrangements, came from panellists simply asking their employer a question they weren't even sure would be answered.
• Conversations at home about splitting care need to be deliberate, ongoing, and revisited regularly, since what works in the first months of parenthood rarely stays the same.