Before I became a mum, I was privy to the judgements being made by non-mums. Young in my career journey at the time (back in 2008/9), I was torn between having to support colleagues who were unfairly treated and having to keep my job by staying out of problems way to do what I was paid to do.

Along the way, I grew up, and I found ways to support colleagues as I painfully learnt to crack the code that had locked many in corporate prisons. Like many other pioneers, I too, have found the journey to be relentlessly endless and lonely.

For years, many corporate women I knew have had to hide their family lives in order not to be branded as a ‘distracted mum’. Women’s networks at the time were mired in stories of women who made huge sacrifices, including choosing not to have children, to make it to the C-Suite. Many had men sponsors who helped open doors and covered for any perceived gender-bias driven performance gaps.

Around the same time, I began to delve into depth psychology, as my work in leadership development called for empathy – the super-power to coach executives and senior managers. Experienced leaders had growth needs that were no longer fulfillable simply by provision of skills or competence sessions that build greater cognitive know-how, even if delivered programmatically and experientially. 

The work starts with self-awareness and ignition of a desire to own one’s impact on the system, i.e. to operate less from a self-centred and egoic place, towards a more collective and inclusive one, where the work is no longer about individual performance but about impact. Hence the need to examine and know one’s own relational and attachment tendencies. 

There was a lot of discussion in the professional circles about the translation gap in executive development – how the expensive external executive education investment to develop leadership cadre was still not hitting the mark in terms of outcome expected from leadership.

Using an analogy from my mentor then, these programmes are like taking fish out of the tank of water to clean and polish the fish, and then returning them to the tank without ever considering the condition of the water. That imagery stayed with me. The best programmes cannot deliver the best leadership outcome because leadership work is contextual. 

When I became a mum (in 2013), I felt pressured to return to the workforce, in part for the desire to better provide for my child, in another for realising returns on investment in my education and past work experience. I was reassuringly told that I could pay for nursery where my child would be better looked after than me (because they are trained and experienced teachers and nannies), that I could get a transition coach to help support my transition back into corporate life as a working mother, and that I could find a workplace and a role that were more accepting of mothers. 

Whilst the arguments may ring true, they did not ring true to me. I knew what felt right for me, and no amount of reassurance convinced me otherwise because reassurance only works if I really wanted to return to a job in the first place. But I was told I was mollycoddling, I had separation anxiety, I was selfish, I was stupid to put my degree to waste, I was making the wrong decision for my child, many women had done it and made it… the list goes on, but the takeaway was, I had to fix me. 

At the time, I was a talent and organisation development specialist who ironically also offered transition coaching. I never broke up with corporate, I just never went back to an inflexible job. From my work, I saw that transition coaching cleans the fish, but the fish may return to a tank filled with dirty water. Companies were trying to fix the mums, instead of fixing their system or culture.  

I use the word fix with pun intended. Those who have worked with me know that I do not resonate with the word ‘fix’ when it comes to living beings. And organisations are living creatures with human components and systems that cannot be isolated to ‘fix’.

What changes can be made?

Transitioning from a patriarchal-heavy corporate system to a more inclusive way of working involves intentional strategies and systemic changes that promote diversity, equity, and inclusion. Some practical actions to consider include:

Take stock of the current state of your culture and policies

• Commonly, people are asked to analyse cultural indicators in their regular employee surveys. 
• For traction, be prepared to dig deeper to identify what perpetuates patriarchal norms across levels of hierarchy.

Uphold DEI commitments with clearly communicated priorities

• Guidelines or a prioritisation grid helps communicate consistency to shape an integrated experience from living the organisational values.

Include diverse perspectives with decision-making

• Start by diversifying leadership teams and boards to draw a range of perspectives and experiences. 
• Then, encourage input from various voices in the organisation by fostering a sense of safety and belonging.

Review and refresh policies

• It’s not uncommon to find wordy legalistic policies that are difficult to comprehend, let alone be relevant and user-friendly daily. 
• Translating it to lay man language helps organisations realise the value of policies and eliminate biases and barriers to inclusion.
• Develop processes for having ‘living’ policies and guidelines to be progressive with adopting future-fit practices today  

Offer comprehensive DEI training and support

• Training promotes awareness and upgrade core DEI competencies such as unconscious bias, cultural intelligence and inclusion. 

Create resource groups

• Whether through inclusive spaces, special interest communities or support networks, resource groups serve as platforms for open dialogue, support and advocacy for underrepresented groups. 
• This is my personal favourite, and I have written a separate blog on creating safe spaces. Dialogue and the skills to dialogue are core to culture development, regardless of content or issue specifics.

Report on progress

• Publish narratives from metrics that propel collective effort and stimulate conversations that count. This is distinct from KPIs in order to prevent measurement for the sake of it and window dressing. 

Encourage reverse mentoring

• Development-oriented method to uplift the whole system calls for systemic empathy across different segments of employees. 

Encourage ownership of emotional literacy

• When people own their inner landscape and be strong enough to bear witness to others, not only will people be empowered to contribute thoughts and feelings with courage and respect, but a healing space that has room for individual belonging and authenticity gets enacted. 

Think ecosystem when engaging others

• Partner with external organisations that promote diversity and inclusion in the community, to learn best practices, gain new perspectives and create opportunities for collaboration and learning. 

When we think in a linear way and measure ourselves with performance goals that serve like tick boxes for a share of the bonus pot, leaders are left to mind the bigger picture and challenge the inclusivity factor, because it is easy to lose sight of that on the ground. 

Addressing biased working systems requires a comprehensive approach that considers systemic change rather than attempting to "fix" parts, or people such as working mothers already disadvantaged by less evolved ways or working. Some specific strategies to tackle this include:

1. Conduct systemic bias audits and use analytics to uncover disparities in people-related practices
2. Minimise bias in hiring whether through blind recruitment processes, by removing gender-biased language or engaging diversified assessors
3. Conduct regular pay equity audits to address salary disparities and implement transparent salary bands and criteria for raises and promotions
4. Promote flexible work arrangements to accommodate diverse needs and normalise them for all employees, not just for caregivers
5. Develop supportive and comprehensive and inclusive parental leave policies regardless of gender and eliminate stigma associated with taking leave
6. Provide mandatory training on unconscious bias and inclusive practices, and skills for ongoing dialogue and education on equity and inclusion. 
7. Celebrate diversity and through resource groups, create an environment where all employees feel valued and included. 
8. Establish career progression frameworks that can provide all employees with equal opportunities for advancement.
9. Leaders report on DEI metrics for transparency and joint accountability, and model inclusive practices.

Ultimately, be willing to adjust strategies, structures, and processes in response to feedback and changing circumstances. These contextual elements require agile and responsible leadership, and vice versa, so we can drop the veil of illusion from quick “fixes” that is the façade of goal achievement. And agile and responsible leadership means to go deep.