As part of South Asian Heritage Month (SAHM), I wanted to shine a light on the experiences of South Asian women.There is a key difference between how boys and girls of the same culture are brought up, and in South Asian culture there is generally a boy preference as shown through many traditions and customs that celebrate boys. In contrast, girls can be seen as a burden who will leave the family to get married (at a cost).  Girls receive messages both overtly and covertly about how we are supposed to behave and what our life goals should be, such as marriage and having children, there are very narrow lines of what is acceptable. 

I didn’t understand when I started my career how this difference in treatment would impact me in the corporate world, but I have since reflected that there were times when:

• I felt I couldn’t speak up in meetings, thinking “What can I even add here?” 
• I didn’t negotiate my pay. 
• I didn’t feel confident in sharing my opinions at first. 
• I didn’t grow my network or find mentors that could have supported me. 

Our culture impacts our beliefs, how we feel about ourselves, and the actions we take.  

As a career coach to South Asian women, I commonly see women struggling with confidence, setting boundaries, and speaking up. This is because we were taught to be of service to others, to please other people, and not make too much fuss.  

The theme for this year’s SAHM is ‘Free to Be Me’. Here are my tips on freeing yourself to dream big and make changes to put yourself first and get to where you want to be in your career. 

Create a career vision

Spend time thinking about your dream job, a great way to do this is to draw it out on a piece of paper and unleash some of your creativity (trust me we all have some!).  

If that doesn’t suit you then write it out; who do you want to work for? (the company name or becoming self-employed), the location, what are you doing in terms of the role, and at what level in the company? 

Creating this vision will increase your motivation to achieve the goals you design for yourself, so when you do face some of those internal barriers and thoughts about whether you should speak up or do something new, you will remember WHY you need to advocate for yourself, you are doing it to create the future you want. 

Work on a growth mindset

In South Asian culture we generally have an emphasis on educational attainment, our parents wanted us to understandably have secure jobs, to do well and not get into any trouble, but a side effect of this is also perfectionism, wanting everything to be just right and feeling unable to make mistakes.  

I have worked on and encouraged my clients to adopt a Growth mindset (a term coined by Carol Dweck). This means that our abilities and talents can be improved through dedication, perseverance and learning from failures.  

If we feel too scared to take risks, we are not stepping out of our comfort zones to expand our knowledge and experiences. To work on this, seek out opportunities to challenge yourself, develop new skills, and build resilience.  For example, for your dream job, what is the one thing you can start working on now that will help you get there?  Make it a goal and keep working on it. 

Create a list of strengths and achievements 

This can sometimes be referred to as a HYPE file because you are giving yourself a boost of confidence when you see everything you have achieved in your career so far, we often achieve quite a lot without recognising it!

I’ve met people who stop themselves from applying for roles because they don’t feel 100% ready, but when you keep this HYPE file and reflect on your strengths, skills and the things you have achieved it can remind you of how far you’ve come in your career and motivate you to apply for new roles.  It’s also a great way to see objectively where you currently stand and what skills you can work on next. 

For more tips and information about career coaching for south asian women you can visit Priya's website, priyamohal.com